Zazenkai

This morning I got up at 5 am and went to a small Zen temple in Warabi city for zazen practice. I am not sure that zazen is really the path for me but it was a good idea to go at this time. I felt it helped calm me down after a very emotional couple of weeks. The temple was, as I had expected, a small family temple in the suburbs with a graveyard and attached residence. The priest greeted me in a very friendly fashion and showed me in. I arrived early, at 6 am and the meditation was not due to start until 6:30 am. He showed me the sutra we would be reading, the Heart Sutra, and some other prayers and then left me to my own devices. I sat in the temple and looked out at the garden and read the sutra. Then people began to arrive, at first in their ones and twos but then more and more. In the end there were quite a number of participants including 4 new students such as myself. There were probably 20 students or even a few more who were not newbies although some of them had only been twice. There were many old men among the participants. We new students were to sit outside the tatami mat area on the wooden floor (although of course we were given cushions like everyone else). I think if we go back then we can enter the tatami mat area with everyone else. After reading the sutra together and another short prayer by Zen master Hakuin the priest came and instructed us new students on how to sit. He showed us to sit with our spine extended and our shoulders relaxed saying that this position was the most important. He described the method of breathing, slowly in and out and instructed us to count our breaths until we reached ten. We were told to sit in half-lotus position or full-lotus if we could manage it. He then stated that in zen one can work to clear the mind but he said that that was too difficult to begin with and just to concentrate on the breath. The priest then said not to worry because he would correct our posture as we progressed and that if he corrected us that we ought to submit to the correction. He then told us we had about 20 minutes left and then left us. He then took up a big stick and began to patrol the room. It is traditional in zen practice for one of the monks to patrol the meditation hall and watch for signs of sleepiness or bad posture. These are then met with a whack with a big stick. Out of the corner of my half-closed eyes I observed him walking with the stick held above his shoulder like a club. He administered quite a lot of whacks to the students. I think the students had to bow down and take the stick across their backs. Each time he whacked twice and the sound was very loud. I was very nervous that he might whack me and hence I kept very still the entire time. The twenty minutes of meditation seemed to go quite quickly, perhaps due to the adrenalin I experienced every time I heard the whacking sound!

After zazen we went to clean the temple grounds but as there weren't enough brooms some of us had to pick up leaves by hand. After what seemed like a very short time we were told to come back inside to eat some breakfast. The meal was very simple and consisted of pickles, vegetables and rice gruel. Before the meal we recited the Heart Sutra once again and another short prayer. We were told to only take as much food as we could eat and not to leave anything behind except for one pickle which we were to retain on our plates. After the first serve of rice gruel another round was served and I was able to finish my meal. The food was quite tasty. We were offered tea but we had to use a bit of the tea to wash the small plate using the piece of pickle as a sponge. Then we dipped the pickle in the tea and ate it. Each new student was positioned next to an experienced student so as to be shown how to eat the meal properly. After breakfast we were all invited to stay for tea and a chat. As I was heading to Nagano later that morning I decided to head home. I walked to the station with one of the other new students who was from the Phillipines and spoke English. She is a teacher of Japanese and is here studying Japanese to increase and improve her language skills. She lived in Japan for 3 years in the past while completing a Masters degree in science in Kyoto. It was at that time that she practised zazen and like me she was at this particular zazenkai because it was located near her place.

As I am writing this post it is raining really hard. I am in a country town in Nagano prefecture staying at a lodge with a very old friend from Albury, Tim. He has been in Japan with his girlfriend Fiona since November. I haven't seen Tim for more than 12 years. We were friends in primary school. I found out through a mutual friend that he was in Japan and we were finally in the same island at the right time to meet up. On the ride out here from Nagano on the train I enjoyed looking at the mountains and rice paddies. One of the reasons I am interested in meditation is that I don't focus enough on the present. Well here is a chance to do just that by observing the beauty of nature. My friend Alison taught me the value and pleasure in doing nothing and just sitting in the beauty of nature. This is very difficult for me because I am always trying to intellectualise my experiences but it gives me a great deal of pleasure when I surrender myself to it.

I don't think I will go back to that particular zazenkai because I can't come at the idea of letting someone hit me with a stick. I am interested in the meditation though so I will look for another group.